Balancing Accountability and Appreciation

Dear Fellow Leaders,

I know that many of you read my regular blogs to learn a few tips on how I believe we should lead our teams and our lives so that we are more fulfilled.  But lately, I’ve been struggling a bit and am hoping you might be willing to share some advice.  

As many of you know, I have a strong belief that it’s much better to be an uplifter than an energy sucker, and, I believe, we all prefer to surround ourselves with these types of folks.  While I’m not perfect at it, I do strive to be a positive influence on my team’s lives.  As such, lately I have been focusing on being intentional about appreciating everything in my life.  I believe that by doing that, I will see more of the positive aspects of my teammates and be a better uplifting leader. 

For my appreciation practice, I have been journaling about everything, from small to large.  When I first started a couple of weeks ago, I had no idea where to start so I wrote down the first things that would come into my head.  You’ll laugh, but it read, “I appreciate Microsoft Word’s spellcheck and this delicious Spindrift blackberry sparkling water I’m drinking”.  I know … not very deep, but it was enough to get me started.  As I continue, I am becoming more aware of and appreciative of other things, significant people, and opportunities in my life.  As I spend time intentionally appreciating these things each day, in less than a week, I notice that I am enjoying life more, I am happier, and I laugh easier.  I get more enjoyment from my friends, family, teammates, and even myself more.  I see more of the best part of them (and me) and I more easily understand and empathize with them when they are having a rough day.  

This is where I am running into a dilemma.  While appreciating and focusing on the aspects of my teammates helps me see more positive things about them, what happens when they are not meeting their commitments?  

I don’t have many rules here at Lighthouse, but I do have a few simple ones:

• Rule #1 – Every rule can be questioned here except Rule #1.  In fact, it’s your responsibility.
• All you really need to know, you learned in kindergarten. – Robert Fulghum
• Your actions need to align with our corporate values of Integrity, Honesty, and Respect

How do I handle the dichotomy when someone I appreciate doesn’t deliver on our core values?  I assume I’m not the only leader who has felt this conflict before, so I’m reaching out to hear your experiences and how you’ve resolved similar situations.  Do I look past the problem?  What if I address it once and something similar happens a second time? How do I balance appreciation with accountability?  I would really appreciate your advice.

Thank you and, of course, keep having fun,

Jeff